What Do Our Conversations At The Office Have To Do With Anything?

I am going to offer a proposition for you to consider: Your organization is simply the people in it, the relationships those people have with each other, and the conversations you are having. That means that every day, every minute, you are creating and re-creating the organization in which you work. By deciding to whom you are going to talk, what you are going to talk about and the mood you are going to bring to that conversation, you are determining the future of your organization.

Over the years as I have had this conversation with clients, I get reactions running across a wide spectrum. At one end is irritability and “this can’t be”– and at the other end is excitement, possibility and “can’t wait to make the difference I really want to make.”

In my experience, most people haven’t thought that much about what an organization actually is. It has this sense of existing, of course. That is, there is this company called Sony or Honda or Microsoft or Google. And, that is the company. Those are the names used to describe a group of people, with shared meaning, doing things together in some form of systematic way to produce or deliver something and make money.

But, most of us have not thought much past that. We might think of the company (without really thinking) as making a cartoon strip and selling the rights to use the character, or a company that offer such-and-such a service, or a company that makes this product. But, all of that would not happen without the people who work there and the customers. It takes people to make those products, or deliver the services or write the cartoon strip and make the sales and pay the bills and collect the money and write the pay checks.

Sometimes people think that the company is the owners or the Board of Directors or Stockholders. But, of course, those are all people. Without the people doing all of the things that need doing in the organization every day, there would be no organization. Other times, people identify the organization with the building they go to everyday. But without someone to pay the rent or mortgage, there would be no company.

So, you can see that there is no organization without the people in it and those outside it with whom they do business – and the conversations they have as they work together.

What could this mean?

What this reveals is how much power and control you have every day to affect the culture and the business of your organization all day every day. What you talk about and the relationships you develop at work ARE the organization.

People do and act consistently with what is talked about every day. The mood of the organization is based on the mood of your conversations and the topics.

If you want to find out what is going on in an organization and what the organization truly is, just hang out at the water cooler or coffee machine, and you’ll find out.

What that means, of course, is that you have incredible power every day to influence what goes on where you work and what gets done.

Do you talk about the weather, the latest football game, your family or your dreams for your life and your career and those with whom you work? What sorts of relationships are you building?

Do you complain – or talk about your ideas for dealing with an issue? (A complaint means something matters to you. I’ll talk more about this in an upcoming article.) But when a person complains about a situation, yet doesn’t do anything about that complaint, what is the real message of that person? They’re saying that they don’t feel they have any power in a situation or that they don’t know what to do – that it is beyond their control. So, they take action consistent with that and create that mood via the interaction.

Or, do the conversations include all the good work you and others are doing? And, how much you love working there and what your organization is doing that is beneficial? That also impacts what is done next and the mood.

What conversations would you like to be having at work? What conversations would be ones consistent with someone truly enjoying their work, what their organization does and the others in the organization?

If you would like to check out what I am offering with this point of view, or would like to begin influencing what is occurring in your organization in a different way, you can do the practice below.

Practice

For the next thirty days, as you go about your daily activities, do not try to change anything. Just notice:

• To whom you talk.
• Whom you avoid.
• What you talk about and don’t talk about.
• The mood of the conversation. By mood, I mean how it feels as you’re having the discussion.
• How all of the above influences what you do and how you feel next.

Twice each day, (eg before lunch and before you leave for the day), stop and write down your observations.

At the end of thirty days, review your notes and answer these questions:

• What patterns do you notice?
• How are feeling about what you are noticing?
• What would you like to do about what you are noticing?

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